And there I was. Ready. Kinda. But ready enough to launch this little page of mine and start getting into a writing creative discipline. Well right there I probably wasted another few days. Maybe a week or so. I was being : s h y ! ! Of course I had forgotten all about my shy-ness. It was time to get myself out there and I was sort of petrified. Me and my boxing gloves? SHY!!
Until I realized that well, no one was actually going to read this. That I could publish it yet keep it secret for a little bit. Until I (before anyone else) could get used to it. And so I did.
It was January 20th. I knew I wanted to be part of the 52 Project, I couldn't wait any longer. My blog was virtually ready so I had to go for it. And without any more questioning I let go of [some of] my fear and posted the very first portrait. Excited I was. And a second post, and a third woooooo. But still I was the writer AND my own unique reader. How cool.
SO I took the plunge. Started messaging a couple of my good happy supportive friends in France, so much for me being brave! And one afternoon as I was scrolling down through my little fb page I sent some invites out for more friends to like the Happy-Bandits. I really only reached for a handful of you because I was still intimidated by the thing. Don't judge, some people are being told as kids that they own the world, that anything is possible, that they are the very best and nothing could resist them. Well I was not one of these kids. And every bit of confidence that I have today, I've had to go get it, I've had to work hard for it, I've had to fight for it, no wonder why I am so hooked on Muay-Tai boxing. Such a life workout. But here I am, shaking off this shyness of mine, great companion of many years. I know I said great, because it allowed me to hide behind it every time I needed it, every time I wanted to do something but was lacking the confidence to do it, I'd hide behind it.
A wise woman I love once told me to never, never let fear take-over my life. That fear was an enemy to fight. And that I should fight it hard.
I still have to work hard to get where I want to be. Even with this blog. I started it because I had an idea of where I wanted to go but I am not there yet. And that's okay. You don't create & give birth to a baby overnight right? There's quite a bit of a painful process before you may hold it in your arms. Patience . We will get there. FEAR FREE.
And as I am wrapping up this post tonight, let me tell you that I just had one of those challenging days where living a meaningful life fearless of what people may think holds a lot of meaning.
Note to myself: "Remember how short life is and how little we ultimately loose from trying everything".
Thank you - the few people I have reached out to. Your support does mean a great deal for me. Do not feel obligated to read any of what I am posting, do it if you enjoy it, be my guest for a glimpse or stay for a bit. I will be happy no matter what. Be true to yourself. Merci.