It is so easy to let the whirl of modern life keep us from contemplating our deepest needs, from listening to our bodies, from caring for our own-self before caring for everyone else's around. Self-reflection allows us to scan our behaviors and adjust to our needs.
The urge to care for myself came a few weeks ago. The truth is I knew it was building for much longer but I kept shutting it down because I kept telling myself I had way more important to do than hold still for a moment and breath. I knew I was wrong. Isn't it interesting how much pressure we can put on ourselves, so much that we forget about the essential : self-care.
I know why I tried to push my limits a little further everyday. It's partly because of my little tattoo business/collaboration I started last Summer and the fear of failing. I had so many ideas to expand and didn't want to let go of any. I will share more thoughts on that in a near future.
The point being that I made the decision about 10 days ago to bring the focus on what is going to happen to my body and to our life in a very near future. Something I won't be able to put on hold when the time comes : pushing a baby out of my body (hopefully through my vagina..!) and into the world.
The second time around comes with more awareness than ever on what is actually going to happen {though you can't predict it all - you know it will be intense, raw, precious, painful, amazing, overwhelming, challenging, wild, beautiful, in no particular order} and I know that focusing on my body and mind should be my absolute priorities right now.
I am not the most organized person in the world, I tend to daydream a lot, my wild empathy tends to play with my emotions and discipline is much needed in my everyday life.
To-do list aren't my thing. I tried quite a few times. But they do help bring the focus back when I start feeling like I'm loosing it. Writing things down will help me prioritize. I know I will lose track of it soon after tackling the first few tasks but at least I'll have one or two things done before getting back into my "zone".
Now to-do lists tend to look a lot like : taxes-insurance-milk-postoffice-vaccum-emails-toiletpaper-bills...not the sexiest list to look at.
In order to balance this everyday reality, I thought I'd make a happy-self-care-list so that I don't forget about my own-self in the tumultuous slash overwhelming every-minute work it takes in order to end the day with a home somewhat clean and appealing, work done, diner ready, happy baby, not-too-neglected-hubby, full fridge, laundry washed and folded, empty sink....I should definitely stop typing and get to work. NOW!
Okay so here's what I need in order to feel happy, fulfilled, energized, loving (& lovable!), sexy (easy : get a baby out of my body and find a bikini that fits!) and keep s a n e :
- First to my mind : Alone time. Because I am a loner. I function well alone. I find inspiration alone, when my mind isn't cluttered by other human sounds. I need alone time. I look forward to it and embrace it when I have it. And on that note I want to say that alone does not mean lonely.
- Time to read. It could be a book (I am a book worm) but realistically, I haven't been able to figure a way to make a lot of time to dive into an intense book lately. In these months and years of early childhood parenting, a magazine is most likely to be found in my bag. Luckily there are some great magazines out there (currently loving the Lunch Lady, Click Magazine, 6 Mois, Flux Hawaii...).
The only time of the day I am able to read a book without losing the thread and having to read the same sentence over and over again is when everyone else is sleeping. I started reading "Peaceful Parent. Happy siblings" by Dr Laura Markham. I look forward to it every night before bed. It is packed with info/tips to help build a peaceful relationship between your children (and yourself along the way). While it isn't an exciting fiction kinda book, I am loving it and recommend it warmly.
- A BEER with a friend. I haven't had any taste for wine since giving birth to Manech (so much for a french gal) but a fresh beer (dark is my preference) and a good chitchat with a happy friend in the early evening is always a time I look forward to. Also I hope to be able to breastfeed this baby at least as long as I did with Manech (a little over 2 years), it's good to keep in mind that breastfeeding does not mean no more social life!
- Surfing / Muay Thai boxing / Windsurfing / Kettle Belling ... sport. I. need.
- Positivity. Meaning not letting room for negative parasites in my close surroundings. While it's okay to complain some days, because we are humans dealing with emotions such as anxiety, fear, love, I want positivity to win my days and loving people to fill my life.
-Meditation (with meditation comes breathing) : is a practice I am looking to implement in my life on a much more regular basis. I would love to wake up in the morning before anyone else in the house and allow myself to start the day with a few minutes of meditation (a few minutes = set realistic goals!). If not in the early morning, then any time of the day will be just as good. Just. Do. It.
These are all pretty simple habits that help me keep sane and happy and fun. Nothing's too complicated (I'll admit that it does help living in Hawaii for surfing). The only real challenge is to remember to make time for at least one of these throughout my day (without overdoing the over-easy beer thing).
Any tips you want to share that helps you keep sane some days? Because I do want to hear!