With a baby coming Oh so soon, has come the urge to reflect on myself, my needs, my wishes. Wishes for the birth, wishes for our life as a family of four, wishes for my life as a mom and a woman.
It is so easy to let the whirl of modern life keep us from contemplating our deepest needs, from listening to our bodies, from caring for our own-self before caring for everyone else's around. Self-reflection allows us to scan our behaviors and adjust to our needs.
The urge to care for myself came a few weeks ago. The truth is I knew it was building for much longer but I kept shutting it down because I kept telling myself I had way more important to do than hold still for a moment and breath. I knew I was wrong. Isn't it interesting how much pressure we can put on ourselves, so much that we forget about the essential : self-care. 
I know why I tried to push my limits a little further everyday. It's partly because of my little tattoo business/collaboration I started last Summer and the fear of failing. I had so many ideas to expand and didn't want to let go of any. I will share more thoughts on that in a near future.  
The point being that I made the decision about 10 days ago to bring the focus on what is going to happen to my body and to our life in a very near future. Something I won't be able to put on hold when the time comes : pushing a baby out of my body (hopefully through my vagina..!) and into the world.
The second time around comes with more awareness than ever on what is actually going to happen {though you can't predict it all - you know it will be intense, raw, precious, painful, amazing, overwhelming, challenging, wild, beautiful, in no particular order} and I know that focusing on my body and mind should be my absolute priorities right now. 
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I am not the most organized person in the world, I tend to daydream a lot, my wild empathy tends to play with my emotions and discipline is much needed in my everyday life. 
To-do list aren't my thing. I tried quite a few times. But they do help bring the focus back when I start feeling like I'm loosing it. Writing things down will help me prioritize. I know I will lose track of it soon after tackling the first few tasks but at least I'll have one or two things done before getting back into my "zone".
Now to-do lists tend to look a lot like : taxes-insurance-milk-postoffice-vaccum-emails-toiletpaper-bills...not the sexiest list to look at. 
In order to balance this everyday reality, I thought I'd make a happy-self-care-list so that I don't forget about my own-self in the tumultuous slash overwhelming every-minute work it takes in order to end the day with a home somewhat clean and appealing, work done, diner ready, happy baby, not-too-neglected-hubby, full fridge, laundry washed and folded, empty sink....I should definitely stop typing and get to work. NOW! 

Okay so here's what I need in order to feel happy, fulfilled, energized, loving (& lovable!), sexy (easy : get a baby out of my body and find a bikini that fits!) and keep  s a n e  : 

- First to my mind : Alone time. Because I am a loner. I function well alone. I find inspiration alone, when my mind isn't cluttered by other human sounds. I need alone time. I look forward to it and embrace it when I have it. And on that note I want to say that alone does not mean lonely. 

- Time to read. It could be a book (I am a book worm) but realistically, I haven't been able to figure a way to make a lot of time to dive into an intense book lately. In these months and years of early childhood parenting, a magazine is most likely to be found in my bag. Luckily there are some great magazines out there (currently loving the Lunch Lady, Click Magazine, 6 Mois, Flux Hawaii...). 
The only time of the day I am able to read a book without losing the thread and having to read the same sentence over and over again is when everyone else is sleeping. I started reading "Peaceful Parent. Happy siblings" by Dr Laura Markham. I look forward to it every night before bed. It is packed with info/tips to help build a peaceful relationship between your children (and yourself along the way). While it isn't an exciting fiction kinda book, I am loving it and recommend it warmly. 

- A BEER with a friend. I haven't had any taste for wine since giving birth to Manech (so much for a french gal) but a fresh beer (dark is my preference) and a good chitchat with a happy friend in the early evening is always a time I look forward to. Also I hope to be able to breastfeed this baby at least as long as I did with Manech (a little over 2 years), it's good to keep in mind that breastfeeding does not mean no more social life!

- Surfing / Muay Thai boxing / Windsurfing / Kettle Belling ... sport. I. need.

- Positivity. Meaning not letting room for negative parasites in my close surroundings. While it's okay to complain some days, because we are humans dealing with emotions such as anxiety, fear, love, I want positivity to win my days and loving people to fill my life. 

-Meditation (with meditation comes breathing) : is a practice I am looking to implement in my life on a much more regular basis. I would love to wake up in the morning before anyone else in the house and allow myself to start the day with a few minutes of meditation (a few minutes = set realistic goals!). If not in the early morning, then any time of the day will be just as good. Just. Do. It. 

These are all pretty simple habits that help me keep sane and happy and fun. Nothing's too complicated (I'll admit that it does help living in Hawaii for surfing). The only real challenge is to remember to make time for at least one of these throughout my day (without overdoing the over-easy beer thing).
Any tips you want to share that helps you keep sane some days? Because I do want to hear!
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Yes, I am doing this! Just like about every blogging and expecting mom out there, I am sharing a baby list! I needed to sit down for a moment anyway and figure out what we do need before this new baby comes...in just a few weeks now! woooo. Beginning of March really is around the corner when you are running after a 2 year old, trying to catch up with a bizillion projects you have started and secretly entertaining the idea of new projects (I do believe I still have time to make this little baby a lovely handcrafted-by-mom-blanket-quilt like I did for Manech..I even have the fabric!).
Meanwhile and because a friend recently asked me if there was anything we needed, I am trying to bring some focus on what really is going to happen in a few weeks and what needs to be done (I do wish a facial and a massage came up on top of my list!). 
The good thing with having a second baby is that you've learned from your first one. Right? In our case and because we made our bold slash unpredicted move off island and abroad when Manech was just 6 weeks young (I talked about it here and here), we were forced to realize how little babies do actually need.
We lived out of our 3 suitcases for over a year with our newborn baby, while trying to figure out where on earth (literally) we were going to settle and what on earth we were going to do [answer to this turned out to be a pretty easy one : BE HAPPY along with get a job]. We had to let go of most of our belongings along the way and it did feel pretty darn good. 
This time around we do have a home, even if it's a rather small one : it's a large studio with no separate bedrooms (holding on to our savings and dreaming of buying a piece of land some days) and I am so thankful that we don't have to think about moving anytime soon. It's small but cosy and we love it. I am actually pretty excited about the sleeping solution we came up with but this will have to wait for another blog post to be written and some photos to be taken. 
Anyways. There are a few baby essentials we were able to hold on to while navigating the craziness of our lives such as baby-carriers (we have this one and this one and even this one as Manech hated the first one when he was a baby but now loves it...go figure, lucky some were given to us). We still have swaddles and sleeping bags (a blanket on a tiny baby does scare me and nights can get a bit chilly around here), a baby car-seat and its stroller (this needs some investigation as our car-seat looked pretty moldy last time I looked at it...but hubby assures me it will be fine..hmmm let me be slightly doubtful on this!). And we certainly do have enough baby clothes left over from Manech. I even found some brand new onesies in a box and since we didn't want to know if we were having a boy or a girl the first time around either, everything is unisex (and I am hugging myself). The only clothes I might allow myself to buy before birth are from my friend Lisa. She makes the perfect and cutest tank tops and leggings for little ones, all unisex which you can look up on her Instagram at misschiefhawaii  .
Oh and diapers? We are packed with clothes diapers, hoping this baby will {too} decide on no more diapers by the age of two  sharp...one can dream.
I was also happy to get our safety first sleeper back, those are perfect for co-sleeping with a tiny tiny human (I do have an eye on these DockATot for later...but the price!).
We have even been given a rocking chair for the long hours spent breast-feeding but we are going to give it away (anyone?) as we don't have enough space for it right now. Instead I will be using a Plum and Bow Boo pillow purchased on sale a few month ago (not the knitted version though) which I will be able to drag around with me.

So really, what's pictured above is what is needed. I'll admit the Tripp trapp chair is not an absolute necessity but we have been eyeing it for a little while now for Manech (blush-blush) and his current baby high chair is getting tight.
We have used the Baby Bjorn bouncer SO MUCH that we would really love one this time again (we had lo leave ours behind at some point). It came absolutely everywhere with us..even on a sailing boat deep down in the Marquesas islands where Manech turned 6 month! I love that there are no electronics whatsoever and it folds flat in a wink and it's all washable and it's adjustable and...love it! 
The Life Factory bottles and Storage : the best bottles out there to me. We don't like plastic. Period. One large and a couple small ones is basically all we need. The only time one was broken was about 3 weeks ago and we can blame it all on hubby for letting it burn in the pan...I guess a plastic bottle would have been even worse (like setting the entire house on fire!).
Bathtub = needed! We only have a shower, which is totally fine but a baby bathtub does make washing much easier.
Last but not least : A manual Breast pomp = So I can have my Guinness ! Duh. Essential! I breastfed Manech for 2 years (which was yesterday) and I intend to do the same again. But I ain't no saint and a beer will keep me sain.  

That's our needed list. I might come up with a wish list of non-practical-non-needed-but-so-darn-cute-things. I might. But it takes forever to put those together and really our limited space does not call for much more. 

Aina = Land, Earth

On a rainy day we like to go for an adventure. We want Manech to welcome the rain with a smile, we want him to know that rain = life. When we wake up to a rainy day here, I often find him running naked outside on the deck trying to catch rain drops. I beam when I hear his laughter and leave him naked outside as long as he wants to be there (it's still warm even on a rainy day around here!).
Embracing the day we get to live.

Here's to balance the previous post in which some people could think I am bragging about our boy being almost all potty trained. Well here's our teeth cleaning situation and if it wasn't for the cost of dental work here in the US I might have given up already. It was all great and easy a few months ago, our son was then the most admirable boy in the universe. That was then, and now...Scary how wonderful habits can take a nightmare-ish turn from a week to another. 

Non-parents-yet : please don't judge!
Parents : I know this will resonate with some of you and hopefully bring a smile. 
Child-assistance : I do love my boy and treat him well, just trying to be a good mom and learning as I go! 

Too cool, too cute. Way to go, kiddos!

It seems like the internet has been laying thousands of eggs all in a sudden. It's everywhere you look and I feel so special posting about egg dye today! I'll do it with a wink and a smile and that should make me very, very Special. 
I'll admit I didn't have the energy today to set myself at doing the Easter-dying-egg-thing. And I'm sure Manech isn't even bummed about it. Sure enough it would have been a happy mess with him and I like the idea of him being happy + messy. Instead we went for a beautiful walk in a forest near by. But then there are all these cool ideas out there of creatively and beautifully dyed eggs and I couldn't help but save some of these in my "do it" folder for next year. Unless I grab a few eggs in the morning tomorrow and play with them before going egg hunting since it's still Saturday night on our side of the world. I might. I actually think I will. 

From left to right: MarthaStewart do it yourself egg, Lisa Congdon Egg's Art (I love! her),Kaley Ann, unknown, MamaMommyMom, elhadadepapel Loom Rubber bands eggs, Fresh eggs daily!

This happened yesterday. I went a bit crazy on caking-cool word right..?. And while I am taking these few shots, a fourth pie is baking in the oven..17 eggs total. Who cares? Right. But I'm trying to improve my photos skills so any occasion is a good occasion to grab my camera. D i s c i p l i n e. And I'm thinking to myself do I want to share food photos here? Not really but I'm doing it. Just because. For the record I baked 2 cakes for my friends kiddo's bday today (YAY Max!), but then I thought it would be torture for my man to come home from a long day working and not be allowed to have any so I threw in a few extra eggs & raspberries. I know, I would totally marry myself too. With a wink & a smile xx happy week-end!
(food photos aren't so easy for me.)